In Shock
by Netsrik1
Summary: Short insert / recap for "Reckoning". Trying to get into Kate's head after she kills Kelly Nieman.


A/N: Short little insert / recap for " Reckoning ". Shakespeare just showed up in the brain and wouldn't let go. The quotes are from Macbeth, Act V Scene I. Obviously the dialogue from the episode is not mine. I hope you enjoy!

**IN SHOCK**

She's dead.

Oh my God, she's dead. Self-defense, to be sure — intellectually, Kate knows that — but still.

A scalpel.

Kate was suddenly reminded of a line from Macbeth.

_"Yet who would have thought the old man to have had so much blood in him?"_

There was so much blood.

Kate's eyes are drawn back to the scalpel dangling from her fingers, the drops finally coagulating.

She tries to think of it as being poetic justice. Kelly Nieman being killed with the same instrument she was going to use to kill Kate.

But there was _SO _much blood.

Is Kate Beckett any better than Kelly Nieman?

Once she got the scalpel away from Kelly, she could have just stabbed her. Once or twice was all it would have taken. But that's not what she did.

It seemed her mind left her and she just slashed at Kelly.

Over and over and over, until the walls were spattered and Kate had essentially done what Kelly had threatened to do to her … she took her face.

Kate looks at her hands.

_"Out, damned spot! Out, I say! "_

With her gun, she's farther away from the person she's taking down. This — the scalpel catches her eye again — this is up close and personal.

_"Here's the smell of the blood still: all the perfumes of Arabia will not sweeten this little hand. "_

It's the same smell of blood as from her shooting. Just another reminder that she did just take a human life, no matter how much of a monster Kelly Nieman truly was.

She stares at Kelly's body.

"Beckett!"

Kate turns slowly, first not believing her ears, then not believing her eyes.

It was Rick.

Was it really Rick? She wasn't sure she believed it.

If he really is here it means he beat Tyson, right?

Or is this Castle a copy?

She looks in his eyes, sees the wariness as he approaches her like she's a wild animal, and she supposes that's not a bad analogy as skittish as she is right now.

But then she sees the love in his eyes and recognizes that it is indeed him, so she moves into his arms as slowly as he approached her.

"I was so scared," she whispers, still not quite believing either one of them is actually there, alive and together.

He holds her a moment, then says: "You okay?"

"Yeah"

"Let's get you cleaned up. "

They move outside, giving the room to Ryan, who calls the ME's office and CSU to come to the scene, while the uniformed officers continue to sweep the place.

Castle finds a bathroom and they enter, moving to the sink and turning on the hot water.

_" Wash your hands, put on your nightgown; look not so pale. "_

As he holds her hands to the water, checking for cuts, Castle says, " We should get you to the hospital, get you checked out. You might have cut yourself. "

" No, Babe. " Kate looks at him imploringly. " Can we have Lanie meet us and look? I know she's not on call. "

" Kate … "

" Please, Rick? "

He can tell she's coming back to life, and doesn't want a setback.

" I just want to go home," she says quietly, and he can't deny her.

"All right. But, we'll have her meet us at the precinct, " he insists. " We both have to give statements and I want to get it over with. "

Kate nods, leaning into his chest, drawing strength.

Later that evening — after the applause, hugs, statements and subdued celebration for Castle being allowed back into the precinct to be Kate's partner again — Kate's in bed, Rick coming up behind her hanging up his cell phone.

" That was my mother and Alexis, they said they're on their way home, just as soon as they do some shopping. "

He slips into bed and groans.

" I don't know how you did it. "

" What? "

" Kept it together the two months I was missing. Two days, I didn't know where you were, and it nearly killed me. "

Kate turned over.

" You ever think about what happened when you were gone? "

" All the time. "

" Every time I close my eyes, I see her face. "

Castle sighs.

"I see his too. Since that night on the bridge. You know how I deal with it? "

"No."

"I open my eyes and look at you. "

Kate smiled.

" Thanks for coming to get me. "

" Always. "

As Kate snuggled into Rick's arms, finally ready to fall asleep, one last line from _Macbeth _flitted through her mind.

_"To bed, to bed! There's knocking at the gate. Come, come, come, come give me your hand. What's done cannot be undone. To bed, to bed, to bed! "_

"Castle?"

" Mmmm?" he mumbles, already half asleep.

" I think I'll call Dr. Burke in the morning. "

A/N 2: Knocked this out in about an hour during a slow time at work. Unbeta'd so if any or all of it is totally screwy, it's all my fault.


End file.
